mirror, mirror on the wall, who's my lover after all?
have been getting news about our frens getting married, engaged, and attending the wedding of a post-doc in my lab in 2 weeks actually. =) it's no doubt that i've reach the stage when the people around you are at their 'time of life', and definitely expect to hear of more wedding bells ringing in the years to come.
why marry? what criteria must be fulfilled for the time to be right for marriage? what is the love equation? and when/how do you know if the person is the right one? how to u determine whether to date or not? there is not a single right answer for all these questions. it's tough. how does one figure it out?
ask me, and i will say you know when it comes, when it hits you. but i was really lucky. i followed my heart, i went with the flow and i found love. met up with a fren and we were chatting about this. he was of cos very happy for the 2 of us, saying how lucky we were to have found our true love in each other. i agree and count my blessings. we talked about how someone should decide whether to date. was somewhat liking a girl enough to try to date, but only with the mindset of finding out what you wanted in a life partner and a lover, and totally no deeper commitment. what if one party had intentions to start a relationship, but you weren't quite ready? should you try it anyways? perhaps you will ease into it after a while? a mismatch in when 2 pple develop feelings for each other can be fatal, then would that be a 'too bad, maybe they weren't meant for each other', or could something be worked out?
how do u know u've found THE one? no couple is probably perfect for each other. there will be times of arguments, disapprovements. things could be better. and as my fren said, the best case scenario may not be achieved by every couple. a person can continue searching for the perfect match forever, but balancing practicality versus idealitisticity is impt. so is 70% (or any arbituary number) compatibility gd enough? some of our frens are in relationships that they're happy in, but not fully. so should you compromise and accept things as they are, work around them, or move on and find another?
when would be an appropriate duration of dating before deciding to settle down and make the commitment? it is definitely convenient to ease into the path of familiarity and stability. having been together for say more than 2 years, that other person has become a part of ur life, that it becomes daunting to step away from the relationship and start afresh. the theories of economics - the balance of devotion of time, the cost of breaking up and starting afresh. unfortunately hard to measure for something this intangible. so many pple continue to tolerate, and give up certain aspects of their life to compromise. is it a good thing? who knows. without the powers to foresee the future, one wonders if the one person meant to be will appear soon, after a long wait, or worse, never......?
being in a situation of having a lifelong partner is amazing, it feels terrific. but singlehood / open relationships etc have their own attractiveness. to each his own. and cliche it may be, but there is no right answer to love, and everyone just has to somehow find their own way.
why marry? what criteria must be fulfilled for the time to be right for marriage? what is the love equation? and when/how do you know if the person is the right one? how to u determine whether to date or not? there is not a single right answer for all these questions. it's tough. how does one figure it out?
ask me, and i will say you know when it comes, when it hits you. but i was really lucky. i followed my heart, i went with the flow and i found love. met up with a fren and we were chatting about this. he was of cos very happy for the 2 of us, saying how lucky we were to have found our true love in each other. i agree and count my blessings. we talked about how someone should decide whether to date. was somewhat liking a girl enough to try to date, but only with the mindset of finding out what you wanted in a life partner and a lover, and totally no deeper commitment. what if one party had intentions to start a relationship, but you weren't quite ready? should you try it anyways? perhaps you will ease into it after a while? a mismatch in when 2 pple develop feelings for each other can be fatal, then would that be a 'too bad, maybe they weren't meant for each other', or could something be worked out?
how do u know u've found THE one? no couple is probably perfect for each other. there will be times of arguments, disapprovements. things could be better. and as my fren said, the best case scenario may not be achieved by every couple. a person can continue searching for the perfect match forever, but balancing practicality versus idealitisticity is impt. so is 70% (or any arbituary number) compatibility gd enough? some of our frens are in relationships that they're happy in, but not fully. so should you compromise and accept things as they are, work around them, or move on and find another?
when would be an appropriate duration of dating before deciding to settle down and make the commitment? it is definitely convenient to ease into the path of familiarity and stability. having been together for say more than 2 years, that other person has become a part of ur life, that it becomes daunting to step away from the relationship and start afresh. the theories of economics - the balance of devotion of time, the cost of breaking up and starting afresh. unfortunately hard to measure for something this intangible. so many pple continue to tolerate, and give up certain aspects of their life to compromise. is it a good thing? who knows. without the powers to foresee the future, one wonders if the one person meant to be will appear soon, after a long wait, or worse, never......?
being in a situation of having a lifelong partner is amazing, it feels terrific. but singlehood / open relationships etc have their own attractiveness. to each his own. and cliche it may be, but there is no right answer to love, and everyone just has to somehow find their own way.
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