对你说

to the few who fought for what they loved:
we must not let this song be forgotten.

对你说
词/曲：黄欣恩，黄欣怡

是什么
带着我们走出风雨
离别后
又让我能够回心转意
我不曾
让你看见
泪水在眼眶中转来转去
你怎么懂 我的心

我试着去了解
也试着认真用心去体会
虽心里话难说
不能当作你只是入过

不让两颗心流浪
曾经承诺要地久天长
但却在一瞬间
走得好远
要我如何
对你说

说我还爱你
说我好想念你
也许我 也许你
也许我们应该相信

不让两颗心流浪
曾经承诺要地久天长
但却在一瞬间
走得好远
要我如何
对你说

today's a strange day

today's a strange day. but actually, it started as a lonely day.

its been a really really long time since i was alone on a friday night: the night for drinking, partying, relaxing, anything non-working... its been a long time since i FELT lonely. a relationship stabilizes your social life: you no longer have to worry abt choosing among the various groups of friends to hang out with (if u are lucky/sociable), or about finding a group of pple willing to hang out with you (if you are not). there'll always be this person who'll hang out with you every friday, rain or shine, happening or not. a person who you'll slowly learn to take for granted to be there every friday, until she's no longer there. then u realize that no one else wants to hang out with you since you weren't around for them for the last x years/months. the friday night scene went on without you.

and it was a lonely night, but there's nothing a tall glass of bailey's on the rocks and a screaming singing DANCING crew of Hairspray cannot undo. i love the energy, the funky moves and the positive social message. i get the sense that people of today don't truly appreciate the difficulties of going against strong social norms. will we be able to stand up for what we think is right, if we have to?

today's a strange day. or rather, it's a rare day which provided a rare glimpse into human behavior.

its always rude to talk abt others, so ill stick to critiquing myself. i was late to a dinner appt with my friends, rushed out of lab, jumped into a waiting train towards raffles place. train was extremely crowded as usual (and i can easily rant abt the unfairness and utter stupidity of raising (doubling!) ERP rates). i barely made it into the train, squashed agst the door like in the cartoons. next stop, commonwealth, i saw a mini exodus from the next carriage door, and so i popped over to ease the jam. bad call as sitting right in front of the door was a pile of fresh vomit (explaining the exodus). Eww... you could see the person's lunch (prob hor fun, with sotong and prawns). a metre radius was automatically cleared for the royal pile, amazing considering the squeeze of pple all around. i stood at the door again, downstream of any waffling odors. next few stops saw pple coming in and out. pple generally get a shock when the doors open and walk in carefully. but i was surprised that some simply didnt even realize the problem until they were slipping on the mess. a chinese lady had her full attention on her phone and was luckily caught by fellow evadees.

i spent the whole time wondering abt my social responsibility. shld i be telling everyone coming in to watch out? should i just inform those who obviously didn't see it? or shld i just be a passive singaporean and complain in the train and not do anything abt it? i was surprised no SMRT staff came in to clear up the mess. they were obviously not informed by any of the passengers who alighted earlier. should i press the "EMERGENCY CALL BUTTON: FINE $5000 FOR MISUSE" button? this is obviously not an emergency, yet there's simply no way to communicate with station/train staff. thankfully buona vista -> raffles place is a short ride. and i fulfill my moral obligations by telling the station staff abt the vomit on the way out. could i have done differently? how so?

so today's a strange day. day of talk on relationships. of a guy's rejection because he insisted on getting an exact date for a romantic date from a girl who wasn't so keen. of a girl's reluctance to commit to a sweet boy because she doesn't think she's ready and clean from her prev breakup. today is also a day of talk of travels. taipei medical attachment, beijing law attachment, yale interview and more.

today's a day of reminiscence too. the usual of remembering the song Dui Ni Shuo written by mag and mel for huahui's concert and of future hh performances. but today's a strange day because i "visited" the places where i grew up. i took the SBST Night Owl service 1 to AMK/Yishun from Clarke Quay, and the bus went thru AMK Ave 3, passing by PSK's former residence, went thru AMK Ave 4, passing by my pri sch best friend's flat, the coffeeshop with great rojak (with apple slices and lime skin), the CC where i played basketball so often, my former flat, the macdonald's which replaced the coffeeshop with the $1.20 chicken rice store when i was living there, the ECON minimart which is no more, the hawker centre with the ornamental fish stores where Joshua, Junjie, Zhong Yi and I have lunch together in lower sec after sch before gg home etc etc. I havent been to that area, that street since a gazillion years ago. buildings stand for a long time, but the heart inside beats differently now.

today's truly a strange day. because i rarely had time to think and write rubbish tots when jas is around. i guess its all about off-loading ur tots to someone. the lonely can only turn to writing, making little daily nonsensical details turn into gems which'll clutter the information space of the world more and more.

today's a strange day because im missing darling. yep, i dont usually miss her. because she's always with me, always around. guess i shld wean myself off her so i wont be so lonely next time when she's not around.

or maybe not.