~Love 2008~

I quote my darling: “When there’s a will, there’s a way. When there’s love, there’s always a chance…” thru time, distance, differences, thru our ups and downs, happiness and sorrows…

For the first time, stepping into the new year of 2008 no longer means an end to a winter break – to get ready for the spring semester/winter quarter with new classes back in our respective schools, to end our wandering travels together and get back to looking at each other over the webcams.

How time has flown by since August 2004, when I first took off on a jetplane, wrenching our tender new found love far apart. It was barely 6 weeks since I replied with a “why not give it a try?” and some serious intense dating moments. And a long way we have come… Only a week short of 3.5 years together, our relationship has matured and our understanding of each other has grown tremendously.

It is no longer about the young immature honeymoon love, the pining for our loved one, wishing that we could spend every day and night of our lives close to each other. Back then was the sweet “little boy” loves “little girl”, the tugging at each other’s heartstrings and stealing each other’s hearts away… I still remember how tears rolled down as my plane was nearing New York City, where I knew my darling was waiting for me (im)patiently for our much awaited reunion after the 4.5 month hiatus… I still remember the time we each broke away (rather regretfully) from our separate spring break trips in a last-minute decision to fly to each other’s place (and to fm: yes, we will, somehow, have a gd trip down to Grand Canyon)… and I still remember long sweet-nothings we could spend time over the phone/webcam (and resulted in my bursting of ~USD$200 of my phone bill over 2 months =P)…

It is no longer about debating about who’s giving/sacrificing more, harboring thoughts about whether we are “the ONE” meant for and worthy of each other, whether we’re gonna last a lifetime or not. All the threats of breaking up, of us better off leading a life on our own, of barely knowing the ‘real’ person that was within this outer shell that we saw of each other and of a need for constant evaluation… Those were tough, painful times which I couldn’t imagine myself living and surviving through yet another time. The emotional roller coaster ride did turn out well in our case, but how fragile life and its changes can be… a simple switch in one decision back then could have resulted in a big difference.

I wouldn’t call 3.5 years an utterly long time. It may be true that we have gone through a lot together, but I daresay that our love story is one of its kind. Many friends always ask about how we survive LDR and what our tots are about one. The answer never changes: do NOT try one if you don’t have to, it’s too painful a process… every relationship works in its own way and there is no one magic formula. Ours just happened click in the right place to help us along. In some ways, this tricky LDR situation we were in created great rifts and uncomfortable situations between us. However, it also helped us in highlighting our problems and working out our differences, forcing us to communicate extensively to avoid (and iron out) miscommunications. Slowly but surely, we have worked out wonders in understanding each other, working with, learning from and complementing each other to tap on our strengths and making up for our weaknesses. A lifetime partner: a lover, a friend, a companion and a workmate too!

Over these years, the love has blossomed, and settled… I love him, no longer because I blindly wish, hope, think, dream of him being with me, but because simply, I love him and he is a part of me. Cliché as it may be, I have found a lifelong partner in this charming man, someone whom I know I want to spend the rest of my life with, to love him and care for him, knowing too that if the world falls apart and all else fails… that this person will be standing beside you, supporting you. I quote my darling again: “It is not me against the world”, but it is US… “Eternity is a looonng time”, and I am glad to have found you, my dear… to spend my eternity with…

Sorry for all the troubles, the headaches and heartaches that I have caused you… and thank you for staying with me all this 3.5 years. I am glad that we’ve found each other, and I cannot imagine what life without you would have and will be otherwise… Fatal attraction = true love, and I only wish to say a simple “I Love You”.

Yours truly,

Ur little girl, ur darling, Jasmine.