kid w/o a destiny...
kid w/o a destiny... this was the welcome message of my old nokia 5210. and those were the good days...
i know im a seriously flawed man. endowed with little scraps of heaven's gifts, struggling to survive in this fast-changing world... i refuse to believe that everyone has a destiny written for him or her. or perhaps everyone else's destiny has been written. but not mine.
destiny. without a destiny. im a kid w/o a destiny.
i was born with a blurry mind. i catch general concepts and rules fast, because this is all i see when i read and learn stuff. i suck at details. 细心 is exactly what i lack. god may be in the details, which i dont have. but who needs god anyway, so i tot.
carelessness. probably my biggest problem, among many. since i left singapore, leaving my 5210 and my life's motto behind, i seemed to face so many problems that ive never faced before. losing my first pair of oakley sunglasses within a week of purchase. missing flights, twice. almost missing more flights because i remembered the wrong details of carrier or time. losing handbag. ordering food only to find i have no cash nor card. what else did i miss out?
i lost my student id yesterday night. only discovered it this afternoon when i couldnt pay for brunch. it was a minor matter, requiring only a $15 replacement fee and a trip down to student business services to get a replacement. a minor inconvenience compared to all the trouble, money and heartpain of all the other matters.
and i had still blogged earlier this afternn. 塞翁失马，焉知非福，i said. and it happened again. i lost my second precious pair of oakley sunglasses when i was changing at the gym. left it in the toilet. how i loved my sunglasses. more than my ipod photo, for that matter. to think i could lose it for a second time.
makes me ponder. heavily. i guess living w/o a destiny is not as easy as it sounds cool. without a destiny means without all the fortunes that destiny lays in store for you. it means no such thing as good luck, like winning in a raffle draw, or a lottery. it means no luckily, like when u tot all it gone and yet, hope appears from nowhere. it means no As, no never-minds. a 40-qns CAT MCQ could kill you, easily, even when so many others get As.
i had meant to moan abt how life has been terrible to me. because, to add salt to the wound, a last trick of heaven had to be played such that a whole 16oz cup of cold soft drink had to drench my back during dinner when i was almost forgetting abt the sunglasses. but i digress.
i had meant to moan abt how life has been terrible to me. but i realise that i dont really care. my life is the way i live it. whether you like it or not. i may tumble more than others. but if tumbling is not defined as a negative event in my dictionary, it doesnt really matter, does it?
life is not all bleak. i take these tumbles in my stride now. is it wrong to be used to all these? perhaps. shld i try to change? maybe. do i care? not really. because if i had cared, i would not have been alive typing this now.
enjoy life for its little, simple pleasures. so little that most pple walked on by without seeing it. the bright blue sky, the blindingly beautiful sun. (sth i can now see even more clearly without the cover of shades) the warmth of the human crowd. the chirping of the birds when walking to my 8am class. the distinct smell of building sickness, or of obnoxious car fumes. ok, i can live without the last one.
and above all, the wonderful pple around me. who can (hopefully) accept this blundered blundering blundersome blunder.
littlekid. the kid w/o a destiny. defiant as he is. to take whatever the world can throw at him.
i know im a seriously flawed man. endowed with little scraps of heaven's gifts, struggling to survive in this fast-changing world... i refuse to believe that everyone has a destiny written for him or her. or perhaps everyone else's destiny has been written. but not mine.
destiny. without a destiny. im a kid w/o a destiny.
i was born with a blurry mind. i catch general concepts and rules fast, because this is all i see when i read and learn stuff. i suck at details. 细心 is exactly what i lack. god may be in the details, which i dont have. but who needs god anyway, so i tot.
carelessness. probably my biggest problem, among many. since i left singapore, leaving my 5210 and my life's motto behind, i seemed to face so many problems that ive never faced before. losing my first pair of oakley sunglasses within a week of purchase. missing flights, twice. almost missing more flights because i remembered the wrong details of carrier or time. losing handbag. ordering food only to find i have no cash nor card. what else did i miss out?
i lost my student id yesterday night. only discovered it this afternoon when i couldnt pay for brunch. it was a minor matter, requiring only a $15 replacement fee and a trip down to student business services to get a replacement. a minor inconvenience compared to all the trouble, money and heartpain of all the other matters.
and i had still blogged earlier this afternn. 塞翁失马，焉知非福，i said. and it happened again. i lost my second precious pair of oakley sunglasses when i was changing at the gym. left it in the toilet. how i loved my sunglasses. more than my ipod photo, for that matter. to think i could lose it for a second time.
makes me ponder. heavily. i guess living w/o a destiny is not as easy as it sounds cool. without a destiny means without all the fortunes that destiny lays in store for you. it means no such thing as good luck, like winning in a raffle draw, or a lottery. it means no luckily, like when u tot all it gone and yet, hope appears from nowhere. it means no As, no never-minds. a 40-qns CAT MCQ could kill you, easily, even when so many others get As.
i had meant to moan abt how life has been terrible to me. because, to add salt to the wound, a last trick of heaven had to be played such that a whole 16oz cup of cold soft drink had to drench my back during dinner when i was almost forgetting abt the sunglasses. but i digress.
i had meant to moan abt how life has been terrible to me. but i realise that i dont really care. my life is the way i live it. whether you like it or not. i may tumble more than others. but if tumbling is not defined as a negative event in my dictionary, it doesnt really matter, does it?
life is not all bleak. i take these tumbles in my stride now. is it wrong to be used to all these? perhaps. shld i try to change? maybe. do i care? not really. because if i had cared, i would not have been alive typing this now.
enjoy life for its little, simple pleasures. so little that most pple walked on by without seeing it. the bright blue sky, the blindingly beautiful sun. (sth i can now see even more clearly without the cover of shades) the warmth of the human crowd. the chirping of the birds when walking to my 8am class. the distinct smell of building sickness, or of obnoxious car fumes. ok, i can live without the last one.
and above all, the wonderful pple around me. who can (hopefully) accept this blundered blundering blundersome blunder.
littlekid. the kid w/o a destiny. defiant as he is. to take whatever the world can throw at him.
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